Showing Up

The past month has been really special. Opportunity keeps knocking at my door, and despite fears, I keep resolving to just show up. So, count this post as one giant celebration to the beauty that comes from just simply making an appearance. 

In February, a girl from the I Love Juice Bar reached out to me, trying to get influencers to promote the local store. I didn’t feel like going the morning she was in town AT ALL and was super close to bailing. Somehow, I showed up and oh holy moly am I glad. She wanted me to throw a social … the point of this seemed absurd at first. Who’s gonna come? And I’m not about to say come meet me. That’s just bizarre-feeling. I went for it anyway. Luckily, I could convince the manager to teach us about juice and my friend to talk on intuitive eating. With some real incentive and my friends there to support me in case no one came, I could sit back and enjoy whatever happened.

And you see, what had happened waaaas … 20 girls came! We sat around and connected and just had simple girl talk. I saw a few new friends connect over recent breakups, another get invited to the church I love, two others relate over emotional eating challenges, and everyone getting to share in a simple experience together. My favorite response was a girl I met told me that the time was super nourishing and she was really thankful for it! Eeeeee!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily gonna do socials on the reg, who knows, but I just wanted to celebrate the beauty that comes from saying yes and showing up when you are scared or don’t feel like it – community was made!

Ya’ll AND FOR REAL my dreams are coming true (true-ish atleast). The I Love Juice Bar contact asked me to write a guest blog for their website and I’m basically having a HAY DAY – my little passion feels borderline professional. What if I had not shown up that day in February? What if I had stopped pushing because being lazy is easier?

Can I say this – I’m proud of myself? Because I am. When I was teaching middle schoolers and feeling stuck, I would pine so badly for something to be passionate about or something creative to enjoy. Years later, I love the story God is writing for me and the joy He is cultivating inside. It’s a process, but I love where it’s going. 

I have a lot more to share, but I wanted to take time to celebrate first!

I’ve been thinking about showing upin relationships a lot too. Sometimes, the way marriage is portrayed on Instagram makes me sick – so many projections of perfection when marriage is never “perfect.” It’s beautifully the opposite, but nobody talks about the imperfections or the moments of confusion. Well, you are welcome because here is my honest moment I had recently. The story involves Rhythm and Blooms, a music festival here in Knoxville, which side note was incredible! You should add it to your calendar for next year – live shows, food trucks, and a lot of cool bands.

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Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

I had been pumped for awhile about the festival – the April weekend came and so did the sleet and cold. AH. We were outside at a show Saturday afternoon and I realized something … I wasn’t really having fun. Sure, it wasn’t ideal weather, but I was with my best friend, my “perfect” husband. Shouldn’t it always be a blast? If a bunch of friends joined us, I guarantee we would have both popped right out of our shells. I would have been cracking jokes and Ryan would have been starting the encore. I told him, “I feel like if we both were light switches right now, we would be turned off, and I have no energy to turn on, or come online.” He said he felt the same way. We’ve been together for 9 years (married for 5) and I know to just enjoy the boring time without it being “extra.” It’s just been awhile since it smacked me in the face like this. So, I wanted to share and be honest – WE ARE NOT PERFECT. Not every moment is a party and that’s okay. There are so many special silly times because we do love each other a lot, but there’s also mundane ones too. 

The next day at church, I walked to my seat and immediately sensed a word about all this. I heard God simply say, “I’m glad you are here.” I had just finished leading a team of volunteers and was distracted, not ready to worship or be in the moment with Him. As I felt God say, “Thank you for showing up for me,” I knew He also wanted me to feel that way towards Ryan. Later, I told him, “Thank you for choosing to be with me even when the special feelings aren’t there.”

We show up for a lot of things in our lives – our partners, families, work, friendships, passions – I’m left thinking how do we show up for ourselves? How do we be present with who we really are?

I have no clue. 🙂

And that’s where I will leave ya with so much more to be discovered about the simple act of showing up. Thank you so much for listening, pals!

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